I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
