The best revenge is premature balding
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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