coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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