I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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