I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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