I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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