dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize