So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
