i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
