ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
too bad you live with your parents still
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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