Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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