ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
