Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
