yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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