she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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