oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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