Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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