hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
