tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
