I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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