I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
