the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
