return my video game
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
