He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have post one night stand depression
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
