I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
