My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
