11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
