TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's the barista slut.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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