id be glad to
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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