i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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