Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize