Your tits are I can't wait for
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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