Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
