Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
