Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
