can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize