i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
