I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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