As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
