i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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