I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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