I have demons in me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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