I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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