butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
