Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
