I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
