She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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