the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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