I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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