Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
