"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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