guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
