She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
