I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
