in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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