I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she peed on how many people?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
