So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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