man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
