you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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