Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
