All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
