just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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