and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I FOUND THE LEGS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
