ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
