ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
